Curl up and die, why don’t you

My massive depression has returned.

This is pretty much all because of Trevor.  He broke up with me last week, on May 27th, and I don’t think I’ll be over it for a while.

It doesn’t help that he’s pretty much told me that I’m unattractive, that he could date if he WANTED to, and that things I’m excited for are boring.

I’ve already considered cutting myself, and I never even thought about it with my first ex, who ripped my heart to shreds.

Right now, I just wish I had a friend.

The All-Dreaded MALL

I’ve discovered that there’s a reason I don’t enjoy going to the mall with my friends.

It’s not so bad when it’s just me and my boyfriend.  But when we go to the mall in a big mixed group of kids, they have this tendency to play with the women’s underwear in Aeropostale and Charlotte Russe.

And imagining your sixteen-year-old boyfriend in the kind of thong he’s holding isn’t the most fun or enjoyable thing in the world.

That, and the fact that my sister and I were the only ones who didn’t get kicked out of Bath and Body Works, would be the reason I don’t enjoy the mall.

I mean, even going into Hot Topic wasn’t fun when 1) I had only $20 and 2) virtually nothing was on sale.  Sigh.  Trevor did buy me a “Rock the Arts” guitar pick while we were in there, though.  It was pretty awesome.  Mine is red.  His is black.  Hey, while you’re at it, check out Rock the Arts.

Making People Happy

I’m not used to making people happy. Honestly, I’m used to pissing people off to high hell to the point of them running in the opposite direction. It happens a lot. Or they tell me off/go off on me. Which also happens a lot.

…which is what I wrote to my friend.  She was talking about me and my boyfriend, who apparently likes me very much.  (He’s kept me around for almost nine months, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything; my previous and only other relationship lasted nine months, but the last few months meant nothing to him, apparently.)

 I suppose you could say that I have low self-esteem or something like that.  Maybe.  Possibly.